Sunday, April 13, 2008

Day 31

I was thinking this morning about behavior--mine, specifically. I have made a LOT of changes in the last 3 years. My nutrition is better, I work out just about everyday, and I am drinking my water. It has been a hard long road to get where I am today.

Nineteen years ago, I was pregnant with my last child David--the Marine! He was born January '89. 1988 was a horrible and very trying year for me. I did not expect to get pregnant. My husband and I had separated earlier in the year, and over a reconciliation weekend, I got PG. I was elated! I loved the whole pregnancy thing! I had 3 other kids at the time--Leighsa, RJ, and Jacob. They ranged in age from 12-5. They were excited about having a baby brother/sister.

As the year wore on, I was getting more and more excited. We had just moved into a new home, so I was busy nesting. That was in August '88. Pretty soon Christmas rolled around...Christmas Eve I received a bomb from my husband--"I'm leaving you, and she'll be here to pick me up in a minute". WHOA!!! Holy crap! So he left me and the kids. I had to explain to them why Daddy wasn't there on Christmas morning. He didn't show up again until 3 days after Christmas. This started me on a downward spiral. By the time David was born, I was 235 lbs. with gestational diabetes. It pretty much sucked.

After David was born, I lost a few lbs., but not anywhere near enough! A few months later, our house was foreclosed upon--My husband quit paying any of our bills, and I had no job, but 4 beautiful kids. I found a job, and a new place to live. I worked hard, and at that time life had no joy.

I took the kids and I moved up north to the Prescott area, where I am today. I found a great job, and things looked better. I had nothing but struggles to lose weight. It just wasn't coming off. I was down to 198 by that time.

I have been up and down for the last 18 years. The baby weight is still with me. So....I decided that this year it was coming OFF!!! My problem I have decided, is that I have not been able to stick with anything long enough to get REAL results. I found the Metabolic Surge program, and so far I'm doing well with it. I have lost about 4% BF and a few inches. I feel stronger, my hip and knee joints don't hurt either. I made a deal with myself that I would finish this Level One program--to the very END!! So far so good. I have only about 9 days left.

I actually have a plan--it's all laid out in my planner. I know what I am doing everyday. I know what I'm eating every day. This has made a huge difference to me. Nothing is left to chance. I have not been perfect during this program. I missed one workout, I messed up another one--by not doing all the exercises--I had 3 days of not eating right. BUT...I am on a roll. I am not letting that get to me. I have learned to pick up where I left off and not let a little mishap throw me off my whole plan.

I'm getting older and it's getting harder and harder to get this fat off. My mom used to tell me when I was in my 30's, "Get it off now, because when you get my age, it won't happen". Well, Mom....this is for you--It WILL happen, because I'm gonna MAKE it happen! I refuse to be fat AND fifty!

Today's Affirmations:

1. I drink 8 glasses of water every day
2. I am the perfect weight for me
3. I make positive healthy choices for me


Anonymous said...

It is never too late to get fit!! the only day it is too late is the day you die. YOu are making great strides! keep going strong. you have a great story to tell. it might seem like a story of defeat to some but in actuality it is a story of victory!
having your plan laid out puts you in front. you will succeed!!

Jamie said...

1. I want to lose weight without dieting.
2. I want to take up running.
3. I will lose the arm jiggle.